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Category Archives: Songz

More than anything, music has been an integral part of my life. In all seriousness, I do not know how I would survive without it. Rumour has it, I came out of my mother’s womb with the likes of Bill Withers’ “Lean on me” playing on the radio at her bedside. From the moment I arrived, music has provided me with a sense of security and comfort.

I don’t know much about music theory but I can at least tell you a story/memory associated to any song I’ve ever listened to. Like how my first favourite song was influenced by an early morning spent with my first best friend, Miranda. We were three/four years old when we woke up from a slumber party to play with our toys. Miranda caught sight of a radio and started turning the tuner to any station that would work and the first song we could hear most audibly was Boys II Men’s “Motown Philly”. We bobbed our little shoulders, swung our hands in the air and I promised myself that that song would always be ‘our song’. Time passed, Miranda and I moved to opposite ends of the continent. I can recall sitting at my class’s free-time tape-player table in 2nd grade, with large, rubbery headphones strapped around my head, face between my palms listening to a radio-recorded version of “Motown Philly” that my babysitter had taped for me the weekend before school started. I remember feeling consoled and strong enough to sob in front my whole class as I bobbed my little shoulders to the one song that would always remind me of my girl, Miranda.

Through break-ups and make-ups, pre-game warm ups, nights out on the town, accomplishments and defeats –there is a song for every moment that I am thankful for. In fact, it is rare for me to have a moment to myself devoid of music. Whether it’s blaring in the background loud enough to drown out the neighbour’s thoughts or it’s just a really catchy song that replays like a broken record in the swallows of my mind; music invades my privacy like an insecure girlfriend.

For the rest of the year, I will be posting different songs attached to different memories, all in hopes of compiling the soundtrack to my life. I encourage you to send me the songs that mean something to you with your stories behind them too!

This one’s for you, Miranda. Wherever you are, with those hands swinging in the air.

Britta B.

I’m trying to forget you
yet the more I try,
The more I remind myself
to get you off my mind.

I was too damn stubborn to let you go ‘cause
I didn’t want to be
another casualty
of this predicted war.

I gave you what I could
and you took the best.
Without you I’m no good, so
why not take the rest?
Without you I lose worth
I’ll have to settle for less.
Who will pick me up
from this fall I had?

I’m trying to forget you
yet the more I try,
The more I remind myself
to get you off my mind.

I’m counting down the hours
‘til I rip your heart out from my chest
Making room for new love
because I figured out how to forget.

Britta B.

I wish that
I could pack up my bags
and take ‘em downtown to the train station
because I keep drifting away
and I get a little sea-sick
when I see it’s
Gonna rain

I thought I saw you
I thought I saw you standing there
staring back at me
but when I called out your name
I felt ashamed it wasn’t you.

So now I’m breaking myself down
for not thinking about you ’til now.
I’ve got a thousand reminders in my pocket but somehow
you remain to be the spare change that I hardly ever take out.

I ain’t never forget ’bout how I was s’pose to spend that
summer with you teaching me how to cook
that Southern Soul-Food culture
Especially when I’m standing in the kitchen, these days 
and don’t know how to turn on the got-damn oven.

See, I got you in my recipe but the
ingredients ain’t all here
I’m missing you next to me
and got an extra tablespoon of tears
If I could just take back this
savory called Thyme
I’d marinate you with my love and we’d be
soaking in sunshine!

I wish that
I could pack up my bags…

I hate the taste of raindrops
when fallin’ from my eyes
Oh, how I wish there was some other way to
keep them all inside
I hold my breath tight when driving
past cemetaries
Thinking to myself, life couldn’t be
anymore unnecessary
Because I only complain
’bout how I come into pain
how I feel my heartache
and how I’m sinking, sinking, sinking insane.

All I really know, know, know
is that I’m feeling unworthy
these painkillers can’t be working
’cause I’m still hurting
and I’m haunted in my dreams.

I hope that this is just a season of sorrow
soon to pass
I keep wishing for tomorrow to be my last
so I can come clean of this horrible feeling of

sad.

My eyes sting and roll into my frown
as I try to imitate the late, great James Brown
and beg, “Please, please, please”
bring my loved ones back to me.

Every time I lose, loneliness finds me.

Britta B.

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