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“Well I looked my demons in the eyes, laid bare my chest.

Said, ‘Do your best, destroy me.’

See, I’ve been to hell and back so many times,

I must admit you kind of bore me.”

-Ray LaMontagne, Empty

I’m prone to crawling in circles when there’s company in my lair
Habits destroy intimacy.
So I let you stand on an incline and kick me while I’m down
Is it written in the palms of your hands to test me?
Never have I been this inspired to read between the lines.
You look nervous when you’re naked-
You give evil a pretty face.

I’ve loved you long enough to watch you lose your mind
under a velvet sky pinned with diamonds on a Sunday night
And you used to say it would take a nuclear bomb to split
the tethered atoms of our embrace
All it took was a decent divide of dead air to watch you walk away
without wanting to return.

I’m not impressed by how confused you’ve encouraged me to be;
I’ve been here before.
You walked me so far backwards into our potential,
it would take a fistful of tears to face the value of our time spent together
I’d rather you slap me just so I can understand
why I don’t miss the bits and pieces on the floor
I hate to watch you crumble but I’d like to see you try
Come down here with me, Hell could use the juice of you
I respond with laughter when I hear your name
I’m tickled by your scars
The loneliness lets me fall asleep at night
You’re a dirty taste in my mouth
that gets resolved the morning after with toothpaste and a reflected smile
I wish we shared a single tongue so that I could speak your language
and tell myself how sorry you must be
Perhaps there I’ll feel pain.

Britta B.



  1. your words are so rich,
    vivid imagery…

    feeling pain is a way to grow strong.
    love reading your work.

    • Thnk you so very much for your kind words! I am very interested in the Poets Rally week.. how does it work?

  2. Very cool poem. Almost like a walking conversation with someone who isn’t there. Thanks for posting through Thursday Poets Rally.


  3. great visual impact..

    “toothpaste and a reflected smile” .. cool.. where do you find these phrases? 🙂

    • haha it’s just one of those gifts/curses that comes naturally, I guess!

  4. Ouch!!! that was dirty, hits to the core…I LOVE IT! KUDOS!!!

  5. The sarcasm in this is bracing– “I’m not impressed by how confused you’ve encouraged me to be”. The protagonist is strong and you have shown it in such an interesting manner.

  6. A woman scorned…powerful dialogue. Enjoyed it.

  7. Like it , keep it up 😉

    My participation for week 31

  8. Very dark, very powerful words. Very sad, yet strikingly beautiful. Enjoyed the read and the emotion.

  9. This truly profound. I read my own history in this.

    Regards …

  10. welcome in…

    thanks for the support and have fun visiting fellow poets.

    someone truly love your piece here,
    keep rocking.

  11. welcome in…

    thanks for the support and have fun visiting fellow poets.

    someone truly love your piece here,
    keep rocking.

    • Thank you so much for the support and allowing me the opportunity for my work to be seen! Especially for giving me the chance to read other artists’ work as well..

  12. Wow! This reminded me of my relationship with my ex husband! Loved the phrase “habits destroy intimacy”–boy ain’t that the truth!

    It kind of made my blood boil! Good job!

    Gayle oxox

    • I’m really glad you’ve found a way to connect with this poem.. that means a lot. Thank you 🙂

  13. ‘a fistful of tears…’
    Beautiful imagery. This is powerful, without being emotionally overwhelming. The darkness adds to rather than detracts from the intimate quality of your tone. You’ve taken great care to temper raw feeling with elegance and balance. Gorgeous work.

    • Thank you so much for your comment. I really appreciate your perspective and outlook on my craft!

  14. impressive write.nice work.

  15. can feel the pain and the longing… cheers!!!

  16. Well, I’ll have to say that I haven’t particularly run into a relationship like this myself. I had some pretty lucid images.

    Thanks for visiting my blog as well!

    • thank you for your outlook!

  17. This is so profoundly poignant
    that I swear I’m smelling smoke.

    “…a decent divide of dead air”
    Helluva way to put it! I can only imagine..

    Nice to met you, Britta B.!
    We’ll be seeing you around
    down yonder a ways. 😉 UT

    • Wow.. I’m happy you were able to ‘sense’ this poem. Thank you for your words.

  18. Very ‘Fistful Tears Poem’

    Being a male and a doctor I would not like to resonate with your thoughts though it does happen with many.

    Liked the embrace requiring atom bomb to break.

    Whosoever has cheated is not worth crying for or remembring.

    Actually time spent with a cheater is a hell and morning after be a heaven.

    Everyday is a new day.

    Poem coveys forcefully what it is supposed to, but want people not be in this hell.

    Peace to you.

    • I don’t want people to be in Hell either, just a thought 😉 haha thank you for your comments!

  19. Good luck for the rally.

  20. yes.. I feel pain makes one strong as well.. impressive for sure Ms. Britta 😀

    • thank you very much! now it’s time to find that strength we’re all talking about..

  21. intense. angsty. helpless it seems at first then rage comes in…and one gets stronger in the burning fire…awesome piece!

  22. very powerful, from first to last. loved especially:

    “And you used to say it would take a nuclear bomb to split
    the tethered atoms of our embrace
    All it took was a decent divide of dead air to watch you walk away
    without wanting to return.”

    something about those lines just gets me. 🙂 amazing job.

    • The best lines come from truth.. and honesty, I suppose.

  23. You pulled me in right away, So I let you stand on an incline and kick me while I’m down
    Is it written in the palms of your hands to test me? – what depth and imagery!

  24. Wow… the tongue/language bit and the “Hell could use the juice of you” are my favourite bit of this poem. What a treat, and so well written at that. Thanks for sharing this poem!

    • Thank you for taking the time to read it!

  25. a nice poetry .. cool 😉
    Visit my poetry .. THE GRIEF …
    for week 31 RALLY

    !! HAPPY RALLY !!

  26. I didn’t know where this was going at first, you lead me in and I was able to see the whole picture. I really liked the lines
    “I wish we shared a single tongue so that I could speak your language
    and tell myself how sorry you must be
    Perhaps there I’ll feel pain.”


    • thank you so much for your time and kind words!

  27. Wow.


  28. Sunnuvabitch this is good. And as I was reminded recently, something I have been guilty of as well. Brilliant!

    • we’re all guilty of something. Glad you were able to identify it here..

  29. slap me so i understand


  30. You look nervous when you’re naked-
    You give evil a pretty face

    …daaaayum I like those lines…magnificent piece of writing.

    • thanks 🙂

  31. What a powerful, pain-filled piece. I was struck by the line “So I let you stand on an incline and kick me while I’m down”–the “incline” adds another level to what could otherwise read as clique. Nicely done.

    I’m glad you enjoyed my dancing piece. I regularly read my work, sometimes with musician friends playing in the background, so I’m going to take you up on your suggestion and try that with this one. Thanks!

    • Thank you for your time and words, and I’m you like the idea of adding music to your dance poem! Let me know if you end p recording it..

  32. Thank you to all who have taken the time to read this piece. I appreciate the kind words of encouragement as well!

  33. very powerful poem…enjoyed it look forward to reading more of your work

  34. I like the toothpaste and the same language part.. Yes, so often it is the ‘differences’ that set the rest apart.. Glad that I made you 12th on my list..

  35. i loved it!!! the imagery and the bitterness…..great job


    how r u?
    Letting you know Poets Rally week 32 is on,
    Drop me your entry if you wish to be part of it.
    Thanks a lot,
    Happy November!


    award for you,
    take it, place an entry if you wish for week 32, it is not too late yet.
    Happy Weekend.


  39. Come to Hell:”…it would take a fistful of tears to face the value of our time spent together…” So starts the real journey to enlightenment and freedom. I Feel You.

  40. I love it! That was an idea I was going to use one of these days. Since today’s prompt for Jingle Poetry Potluck has to do with magic, I guess I’ll have to deal with the elements. See you there!

  41. your words simply create the whole scene so much pain 😐

  42. letting out my breath with so many tears that will never be understood at all ,by no one ,wish back then ,when I tried take my life ,I have only one thought asking God ,I am a monster ,that demon spawn ,my grandma used call me and lock me in the dark closet and preach no one or nothing shall ever love me ,so I ask god ,that night why didn’t you let me just die
    Why was I to live
    I don’t want to ,losing everything ,you shall never understand
    all my life it seems everyone has always decided my life and future .
    now decision will once again be made
    You can not even face me
    Look at me
    I disgust you that much
    How is it ,all my life ,has been filled with hurt beyond the extremes ,some how I can see them and find some good in them despite events .
    I hurt someone I really never wanted too but really hurt the one person I love so much,now me for my damaged actions
    I am shucked out ,as something disgusted
    maybe it is I that shall never understand ever
    I always held such strong belief in you
    I knew things will be complicated some how you will find something deep inside you and gather new adventures with meeting and creating new friends to support you and helping hand ,you will always have that wonderful glow that opens up to people .
    I hold no thoughts of a future or new love or moving on ,I know I shall not ever hold those thoughts or actions
    You were correct I will die a lonely old woman
    You made me feel so alive ,than I ever
    Some how something went wrong
    I know the answer to that
    I went Wrong ,long time ago
    Why god spared my life that night
    I shall never understand
    As I can say ,I died already ,that night in more ways than I can ever explain
    So you see ,all the blogs ,all sayings that describe who I am ,I believe each word ,you speak of me
    I will die believing you ,I now know ,I trusted with everything .
    I was afraid and sorry I was so damaged from the past ,that without the walls ,that protected everything that was ugly ,that hurt ,hidden behind walls ,I never knew ,behind those walls ,was hiding a monster that destroyed ,all she loved .
    I do not deserve to be here ,much less every experienced your Love as I did ,as as your love was filled with so much beauty ,Your Love allowed me to feel something and trust in a life ,that was never offer to me .So make me this Joke ,leave the words ,I can relate to all that .
    This blog Dis solution ,yes I was fooling myself ,few times ,I drove or called you and you cringed ,just knowing the thought it was me ,Those moments should very well please you ,as I shattered in million pieces ,knowing I have become something ,you can’t stand be around ,you have to know ,it killed me completely.
    So file and do your self ,best favor ,you could ever give yourself in life .
    I will always believe ,you still Love me ,as I hope you remove any doubts that I never love you because that would be only a lie ,as I have never loved anyone as I do and shall always Love .
    You opened something deep within me ,that I buried all those years ,The real me ,and that holds a gentle soul .
    I also know with all my heart ,inside You ,you shall never really forgive the hurt ,that was instilled in you by my own actions .
    As I shall never forget ,our unborn child ,that never held a chance in life too .
    A Hurt ,that was more real than ,you shall ever believe .
    You will always distrust me ,the look in those Blue eyes ,Will always see me differently and each time I look in your eyes ,I will want to die .more

    I would give my life up ,to save your life ,this I dearly promise .
    A promise that will be the only one I will hold sacred and stand by .
    In way I am little glad ,those times I wanted see you ,that you never allowed it .
    As in this World ,there is none other expert than I ,to punish themselves .
    As I have done for so long
    I will never understand God ,as this God ,they say would never give to much than one soul could handle ,guess god was looking ,the other direction when it came to me ,or held higher expectations ,as it was spo much more than I could ever ,handle and be not consider damaged goods or demon spawn .as many label me ,or speak the words that I play the victim .
    I only wanted a life ,that was simple and people not hurt me so bad ,I only wanted to be love ,was that so much in life to ask.
    For me ,it was high price to ask and I was denied .
    So file for this dis -solution as ,you placed out for the world to see ,my shame
    I will promise You ,that day ,I will not show up ,you won’t have to look upon my face and heart .
    Our marriage will just disappear ,as you always told me ,that we never had a marriage ,I think your right ,as I can not pretend or Look at rest my life and be dishonest with anyone or even myself .

    Let me become one those tiny Flowers they call forget me not

    I shall forever remove my complete self ,out your life ,Will be going back to a life ,I only knew .

    That is all I now know I deserve

    Till the moment in Time ,I brave what is the right choice to offer my own self.
    Shall I disappear as our marriage did too.
    Would you mind very much ,if I kept the symbol the day ,you asked me to marry ,you .
    As it some how ,keeps me warm and safe .

    Good bye My Love
    Forever yours in another Life

    I hold such faith ,you will find your destiny and some one that won’t be ugly and can love you like you deserve ,As you are one hell’va man that deserves the best .
    I now understand Why ,you never took me up at the cabin ,on the mountains as ,you never wanted me to tarnish such sacred place with my ugliness ,I am happy ,that lady before me ,must of been filled with such Beauty .

    Heal thy self ,with the help of those ,you attach to life and love of wonderful family ,that I never gave chance ,to love .

    darkness taints my very soul as I disappear


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