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It’s 5am; how am I still up?

I’m missing you
Tired of feeling fucked up
How did I get here?
This wasn’t my intention

I don’t know who I am without you
Bet I became everything
I said I never

Do you ever feel the same?
Or are you familiar with the pain?
Do you ever feel the shame like I do?

Like I do…

On the brink of forgetting you
I wait for another man
To take away my obsession
With wanting back everything we had
Cut the conversation
Lead him back to my hotel room
I’m in a different city but
I bet we looked at the same moon
Count the stars
Count the stars in the sky
Spend too much time
Countin’ stars and you’re doomed
Count too many stars and
I hear you lose the moon

Here we go again,
Another nameless soldier lying in my bed
Sucking the sweet spot
I had for you from my chest
Wrapping our lips together
Digging nails into skin
He scratches the trace of your fingerprints
Off my body
I’m feeling kinda naughty
Like I was around you
But a little more naughty

He yanks my head
So rough that it hurts
But it lets me forget
That you hurt me worse
(Yeah, you hurt me worse)
I hold my breath hard enough
Killing brain cells that remind me of
Everything that we once were

We fucked the lights out
(Yeah, we fucked the lights out)
Barely got our clothes off but
He fucked the lights out of me

All ‘cause I wanted to see
The darkness you buried inside of me
Take it with my hands and
Rip it piece by piece
Set it on fire so I can be free

And in the afterglow,
I thank him as I go
Turn up the volume on the stereo
Across the room
He waiting there naked, waiting for Round 2
Voice on the stereo sings a familiar tune
I ask him to leave
It wasn’t his job to love me
Just to confirm: I’m better off without you.

Britta B.


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