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All of this neglect,
all of this avoiding.
What do you do when you remember me?


My naked, skinny fingers curled around your charms
as absent minded
as a child
clinging to the cold, steel chains of a swing
rusted from years of unintended contact.

You needed me to touch, to feel,
confirm something you won’t allow yourself to believe in.

I needed you to need
anything from me.


My palms, wrinkled
with patches of red and dry
burning from Eczema,
“It’s stress” –No, wisdom, you’d say.
 
You didn’t say it but I recognized your voice
impersonated by an older man I never met before
one midnight 
when I was sitting by the harbour, 
attempting to be alone
because I had read in my fortune that I would meet
my soulmate near the water.

It confirmed everything I allowed myself to believe.

I tell strangers I miss you, sometimes
like I’m proud of the oozing scabs formed
on my heart from trying to love you.


I want to transcribe you
into picture books, in Braille.

Share my memories of you with the blind,
and squeeze an honest conversation out of someone
else who couldn’t see where you were going
when you said, “I’ll be back.”

What do you do when you remember me?
All of this neglect,
all of this avoiding must give you stress.

Britta B.

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6 Comments

  1. I really like this line: “Share my memories of you with the blind” It really shows how a relationship and one’s memories of a person never truly can translate to others.
    The addition of “…must give you stress.” in the last line truly translates the narrator’s feelings he or she still carries for the person he or she lost.

    • Thank you for your time and your comment. Your feedback is welcome, I can appreciate your perspective on the flow of this piece. It’s a different style of writing than I’m used to.

  2. OMG, this is amazing! I read it twice! Love it, a lot of amazing stanzas! Made me thought about someone i used to love… thank you for sharing!

    • Thank you for your comments. I appreciate knowing that others can relate.

  3. Oh, I absolutely love this post! Thank you for sharing! Great write!! 🙂

  4. This is beautiful!


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