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my mind
face planted against a glass ceiling 
the moment he walked in and stole the room’s attention.

him, yeah him, that one

he barked with a grin about how good of a day he was having
as i made an unannounced agreement with my pride to not say anything
to seduce him

yeah him, that one

shortly after,
we locked eyes

and i was high
looking down
at the remains of my heart

i had to remind myself to blink

it was like i was watching myself in a car crash
replaying it in my mind (actually seeing me step out into the street)
but from the angle of a hospital bed
hooked up to a moniter with a wristed IV

and
feel
-ing

how smoothly the morphine spread throughout my skin…

feeling how good it feels to be weak
every. single. time. he began to speak.
he licked my spine
with his limerick pick up lines
and i felt parts of my soul splatter and leak

down
the walls of my mind, i was dripping
down
the walls of
my mind, i was dripping
down
the walls
of my mind, i was
dripping

down

off of his chin
and into his lap

***

he leaned in my direction across the table
and confessed,
what are you doin’ later? i need company
he was honest.

him. yeah him. that one.

why can’t we all be more honest?

like him. yeah him. that one.

i’ve never felt more vulnerable
as I did watching another man
undress

himself for me.

Britta B.

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