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Category Archives: True Life

More than anything, music has been an integral part of my life. In all seriousness, I do not know how I would survive without it. Rumour has it, I came out of my mother’s womb with the likes of Bill Withers’ “Lean on me” playing on the radio at her bedside. From the moment I arrived, music has provided me with a sense of security and comfort.

I don’t know much about music theory but I can at least tell you a story/memory associated to any song I’ve ever listened to. Like how my first favourite song was influenced by an early morning spent with my first best friend, Miranda. We were three/four years old when we woke up from a slumber party to play with our toys. Miranda caught sight of a radio and started turning the tuner to any station that would work and the first song we could hear most audibly was Boys II Men’s “Motown Philly”. We bobbed our little shoulders, swung our hands in the air and I promised myself that that song would always be ‘our song’. Time passed, Miranda and I moved to opposite ends of the continent. I can recall sitting at my class’s free-time tape-player table in 2nd grade, with large, rubbery headphones strapped around my head, face between my palms listening to a radio-recorded version of “Motown Philly” that my babysitter had taped for me the weekend before school started. I remember feeling consoled and strong enough to sob in front my whole class as I bobbed my little shoulders to the one song that would always remind me of my girl, Miranda.

Through break-ups and make-ups, pre-game warm ups, nights out on the town, accomplishments and defeats –there is a song for every moment that I am thankful for. In fact, it is rare for me to have a moment to myself devoid of music. Whether it’s blaring in the background loud enough to drown out the neighbour’s thoughts or it’s just a really catchy song that replays like a broken record in the swallows of my mind; music invades my privacy like an insecure girlfriend.

For the rest of the year, I will be posting different songs attached to different memories, all in hopes of compiling the soundtrack to my life. I encourage you to send me the songs that mean something to you with your stories behind them too!

This one’s for you, Miranda. Wherever you are, with those hands swinging in the air.

Britta B.

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I opened my eyes to the buzzing of my
mobile phone and saw a call coming in with
a name “Unknown”
I let it ring.
Told myself it was more important to sleep.
But in the nick of time, I answered the call
thinking maybe somebody was in some
desperate need to tell me
how much they’ve been loving me
and they had to borrow a stranger’s phone.
(It’s kind of embarrassing to look back and accept the fact
that that was the only reason I answered the phone.)

Hello?
-Yeah, do you know who this?
No, sorry. Your number…
-Yeah, well it’s *****’s girlfriend, what’s going on between the both of you? I see texts here back and forth, calls made early in the morn. And what’s my man doing calling you “babe” and “baby baby”? Don’t you know how hard it’s been for me to be with him lately?

Uhh… I honestly thought that was the way he talked to everyone. I’m sorry you’re upset and I understand where you’re coming from but can’t you see there’s no reason for you to be so sad? I never gave him reason to say those things, I never said them back.

-I don’t want you to ever talk to him again.

If that’s what you want, I’m fine with that.
-Ok, well I gotta go. Bye.

Click. Just like that.
Not even a chance to wish her better days,
for all of those fallen tears to dry away
or to help get her mind off of all the assumptions she made.
But I understand.
Sometimes we get more caught up in trying to control
the people we love rather than
researching ourselves to figure out
why we’re insecure enough to provide reasonable doubt.
If I could say one last thing, I’d scream,
Babygirl, stop doubting yourself!
If only you concentrate your time on how to make ‘em stay
what will you think of yourself when they try to walk away?
I’m just saying, you’ll do all the dirty work just to try
to protect your man but
go searching through trash cans and I bet you’ll find trash.
Maybe you should take a look at your family tree
and see who’s been a part of your past,
forgive yourself for whatever didn’t go as planned
and accept the fact that you are lovable
despite your mistakes and flaws.
Learn to love yourself down to the bruises on your heart.

You deserve it.

Britta B.